Luke bypassed the front door, the porch light welcoming him home, and headed straight to the converted studio in the backyard, that was his own private space. He shared everything with his parents in the past, but not this. The confusion and hurt was too raw, too deeply private. He really knew nothing about Meg, only knowing her for a few short weeks, but it had felt so natural to be with her. And she had respected and connected with him immediately. Meg was a well of passions, a woman who had experienced life, loved and lost, more than he ever had. He had felt no boundaries, no reservations, wanting only to soothe her hurts, share his deepest thoughts and desires. And he knew she understood him, shared his sensitivities. The last few weeks had been liberating, seeming to promise something, only to be lost to doubts and fears. He recalled her desk at school, crammed with books, magazines and beloved pictures, random quotes and poems pinned to the notice board, her notes giving way to intricate doodles and artistic borders. It made him smile to think about it. But he had to respect her wishes, no matter how frustrated he felt.
He didn’t even bother to undress, just kicked off his boots and flopped onto the bed, his agitation not letting him rest. He had to push Meg from his mind, to concentrate on the new year ahead; make plans for his future. He had hoped Meg would be a part of those plans.
The dark was pressing down on him, and he needed to sleep, if only to escape his disappointment, but he tossed and turned, his frustration growing ,until he eventually reached down over the flat of his stomach to release some of the tension humming through his body. Thoughts of Meg filled his head, as the tension finally peaked and rushed from him in a long shuddering end. He called her name with a strangled passion. But the relief was only momentary, as his mind stayed on her, the wanting just climbing slowly and inexorably once again. He could only hope that time would lessen it, but turning wearily, sleep finally calling him, Luke braced himself for a slow agony.